It was the E8 Art & Craft Trail in Hackney a couple of weeks ago: a sort of more self-conscious and fashionable east-London hipster version of Open Gardens. My wife was keen to see the art and other people’s houses. I felt similarly, possibly more so, but I was also in it for the steps: 25,000 by journey’s end. Result!

As for the art, I’m emphatically not saying, “I could do that!” Because I couldn’t. At this level, way below the rarefied nonsense of the Turner prize, most work displays evidence of an actual talent for drawing, painting, photography, pottery etc, which I lack. But given the absence of any absurd “concept” frivolity like a pile of bricks or a stepladder with a grapefruit on



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